Crossing Paths

They leave. They always leave. Walking away before I can even catch my breath. The words that were said, the promises that were made, the breaking down of my walls to allow you into everything that I am. I turn around only to find myself in a room full of mirrors now having to find my way back out alone. Stuck in a carnival, seeing the rides spinning and hearing the blankness of music and people screaming, “Why am I not enough, why am I not tall enough?” Looking to find the puppeteer but then realizing if he wanted to finish the act he wouldn’t have vanished. So, instead I finish the act, take my bow, and walk away with no one in sight. Sometimes you never know what can happen when you step into a carnival.

People constantly walk in and out of your life and the overwhelming thought of being enough can consume you. It can be easy to go straight to the negative side of people walking out of your life like you didn’t put anything into it that you might lose. You may not be able to change certain situations, but you do have the power to redirect your mind into thinking of the positives. People walk away, things don’t last, what you put out is not what you will receive in return, and at some point, you will be hurt in your life. This is just the hard truth, but with pain comes understanding. You start to realize the reason of them being a moment in your life that will forever be stuck in time. We can wallow in the pity of our self-doubt and confidence or we can rise above it and understand that some people were only meant to be in your life for a short amount of time and that’s okay. What is important is to understand that you are always enough, you aren’t the reason for someone leaving, and you will be okay when the dust settles. I think sometimes are ego gets in the way and we want people to want us, understand us, make us feel like we are good enough to be with. Whether it’s relationships, families, or strangers that come and leave a print on us, we are all on a journey and some of our journeys cross paths and then continue on. You can’t force someone to stay in your life who doesn’t want to. It just doesn’t work like that. What I do know, is that at the end of the day, all you need is yourself to be complete and that will be just enough. Just understand that eventually the people who continue in your life are the ones worth fighting for, the ones who will continue to fight back for you. Until then, find the positive in goodbyes and continue your own journey. It can be a beautiful life if you just look for it.